You may be familiar with the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15. I have a confession: I’m the Prodigal Son’s older brother.
Have you ever heard a message at the right time? That happened to me this weekend. At a meeting on Saturday, the wonderful Liz Curtis Higgs taught on story arcs in novel-writing using the story of The Prodigal Son as an example.
The parable might be familiar to you. A man has two sons. The younger son asks his father for his inheritance before his dad is even dead. Then the younger son travels to another country, parties with his new friends, and squanders all of the money. Let’s call this younger brother FRANK: the Foolish, Rebellious, Audacious, Negligent Kid. When FRANK hits rock bottom with no food to eat and no roof over his head, he comes back home with his tail between his legs, ready to beg for a job on the family farm. But rather than being shamed by his dad, the father embraces FRANK upon his return and rejoices that he has come home.
Oftentimes, that’s where the story—or sermon—ends. But in my Bible Study, we’re studying the book of Luke. And, of course, we’re on Luke 15 this week. On Sunday afternoon, I sat at my kitchen table reading through the full chapter. The scripture goes on to reveal the older son’s response to his brother’s homecoming. (Let’s call the older brother ROB: the Responsible Older Brother.) It’s a typical firstborn’s response: “Hey, Dad. I’ve been responsible. I’ve done all the right things. I’ve not squandered your wealth. In fact, you’ve never given me anything! Why are you throwing FRANK a party? He doesn’t deserve it!”
He doesn’t deserve it.
Ouch. ROB is a resentful, bitter brother in this parable.
The Prodigal Son’s Resentful Old Brother
It’s easy to judge FRANK, the selfish little brat. But I see myself in ROB, not only in actions but in attitude. ROB was resentful. And I’ve sounded a lot like ROB lately.
I obey the rules. I’m responsible. I do the “right” thing (as defined by me). I… I… I…
And I’ve been angry, bitter, and downright grumpy. While reading Luke 15, I realized that I’m the Resentful Older Brother. So I went on a deep dive on ROB. I found a great message about what we can learn from him here.
The Prodigal Son’s older brother was grumpy because he wanted what he “deserved.” He wanted to be rewarded for doing what was expected. What he would have done regardless of his brother’s behavior.
The root of resentment is entitlement, or “envy injected with pride,” as the pastor says in the above video. Pride and envy lead me to believe I deserve… a vacation, recognition, the picture-perfect Instagram feed.
The first problem is that I deserve nothing. Secondly, resentment only results in anger, a lack of joy, and selfishness. Doing the right thing for the wrong reason. Instead of serving or living without strings attached, I engage because it’s my duty. An obligation. But one with fine print: I deserve an outcome where I get something in return.
Ick.
The Remedy for Responsible Older Brother Syndrome
The remedy for resentment is letting go of my pride, my anger, my envy. I need to replace my resentment with gratitude and trust.
I can say that I am grateful, but it’s easier to grovel in the frustrations of life. To be grumpy about the endless insurance fights. The irresponsible car-parkers. The frailty of my body, despite not being “disabled” because I work.
Paul’s instructions in Philippians 4:8 (NLT) come to mind: “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.” I like The Message paraphrase even better. “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”
Gratefulness isn’t hard for me. I have a lot to be thankful for. But fixing my thoughts on them is more difficult.
However, the trust part is more challenging. Way more challenging.
Trust? No! I have to work for it. Earn it. Deserve it. Definitely not sit back and trust that things will work out in the end.
Yet, trust isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s about letting go. It’s allowing God to fulfill my needs—and being overjoyed when I even receive my “wants.”
Jesus tells us this in Matthew 6:25-27 (NLT): “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”
We’re Invited
Whether you’re the Prodigal Son or the Responsible/Resentful Older Brother, the good news is the same: the Father comes toward us. One son ran away in rebellion. The other stayed home in resentment. Both were lost in different ways. And both were invited in.
Let go of resentment. Replace it with gratitude. Choose trust over entitlement. Because whether you’ve squandered everything or quietly kept score, God is still searching for hearts that will come home—and He rejoices when we do.
